Don't go up to the 6th floor -What really happened in Berlin I

It took me a while to edit this down to something suitable for a general audience. Some may yet take umbrage at my presentation.  So I invoke the immortal words of Frank Zappa, “This work may not be suitable for children or Republicans”. 

Occasionally curiosity gets the better of me -especially if the MurMonster is egging me on.  And now I can now never un-see what has been seen.  I decided to go up to the sixth floor at the Axel Hotel in Berlin around 11pm.  There they have a hot tub, fitness area, sauna, and a rooftop bar. 

I made a plan to catch a glimpse of the action without taking my bathing suit up there and hanging out in the hot tub myself.  I would go up there, walk in, and look around as though I were looking for someone.  That wouldn’t leave me much time to see what was going on, but at least I would not look like a party crasher if there was indeed a party going on.

When I opened the door on the long room, what I saw was the back of a fat, pasty, white guy sitting on one of the lounge chairs.  How to describe him?  I guess plumbers crack only pertains to people wearing pants.  He had his hands on something in front of him and my fertile imagination filled in.  I headed away towards the fitness end of the sauna/fitness/hot-tub room and washed my hands.  Washing my hands always makes me feel cleaner. 

When I came back I could see Mr. Pasty a bit better. He was sitting there in front of the sauna fortunately his hands were just on a laptop.  I saw a guy in a bathrobe about to get into the hot tub.  The hot tub was at the very end of the long narrow fitness room, past the sauna, and up a few steps and out an exterior door.  The hot tub hung in mid air outside the hotel with a tiny deck around it.  As someone who regulary gets flak for wearing a speedo, I was curious if Mr. Bathrobe would go the speedo route. The hotel advertised their hot tub with picture of some buff looking guys in speedos.  Perhaps he would go au naturel, or, would be a subscriber to the MurMonster code of modesty and wear knee length board shorts and a long sleeve shirt.  With my plan of appearing like I was in search of someone I couldn’t wait around to find out. 

So I headed up to the rooftop bar to see what was going on there.  The short answer- absolutely nothing.  Apparently the after 11 crowd at the Axel is smart enough to know to come in out of the cold and head for the sauna or hot tub.  However, the view was spectacular, so, I spent a few minutes looking out over the city trying to identify buildings I had passed in my meanderings around Berlin.  I breathed in the cool humid air of Berlin in November, and then headed back inside.  I figured I would try once more with the “poke my head in to look for something” approach of checking out the hot tub and sauna scene.

By the time I walked back out, Mr. Bathrobe was already in the hot tub.  He was not wearing a long sleeve shirt.  Perhaps it was for the best I would never know what kind of fashion statement he had going on under the bubbles.    But what I can not un-see is the guy who then walked out of the sauna.  He was probably a bit younger than myself with a month’s worth of facial hair going.  He obviously had a gym habit.  But the less obvious thing was the one that made him, technically, not naked –the tension band he was wearing.  Well, I was curious about the scene. 

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